Murphy's lag

Ett ofritt samhälle kan få oöverskådliga konsekvenser. Låt oss blicka en stund in i framtiden och se vad som händer när en ledbruten, nertränad och sömnig Jeffrey Aubynn till slut landar på LAX och släpar sig till passkontrollen.

"What's this? Aubynn Laden? Full body cavity search for you, fella."

(femton tämligen plågsamma minuter senare)

"So, tell us mr Aubynn Laden, how do you explain your recent visit to Saudi Arabia?"
"I was playing football. For the Swedish national team."
"Football, eh? Answer! Quickly! Who is the first string quarterback for the Chargers?"
"What?"
"You are very foolish, mr bin Laden. We have ways of making you talk."
"No no, I mean... er... soccer!"
"Ah. Soccer. That's so cute."
"What?"
"Bit of a girl's game, though."
"No, it's..."
"Alright then, what is the purpose of your visit to the United States?"
"I told you, I'm playing foo... soccer. For Hammarby."
"Never heard of."
"It's a Swedish team. We're having a training camp in LA."
"Oh, of course you do."
"Come on, we played a training match against your national team last night! That must be easy to check."
"If you say so."

(fem minuter senare)

"Well, there is no record whatsoever of a Swedish soccer team ever staying here, and there definitely wasn't any soccer game involving the US National team last night.
"But there was supposed to..."
"Why are you lying to us?"
"But I'm not..."
"Have you ever seen the inside of an interrogation cell, kid? And have you ever been to Cuba? Think it's about time, we have a nice and cozy place there for people like you..."
"But..."
"Not much soccer going on, but lots of ball-playing."
"But..."
"Hasta la vista, Ahmed."

***

Återigen - detta är satir. Alla eventuella likheter med verkligheten är rentav skrämmande.